There are 2 types of mothers of friends. Five types of mothers and their emotional heritage. All kinds of feelings are needed, all kinds of feelings are important
Popular wisdom says: do not have a hundred rubles, but have a hundred friends. But are these hundred friends necessary? Maybe one is enough, but the realest, most devoted and most beloved friend? I think so.
A friend has certain qualities such as patience, respect, loyalty, and of course honesty. A friend will not deceive you, much less betray you. Also, the best friend is ready to listen to problems and worries at any time, even if he is tired. A friend will come to help and will not refuse it. A best friend is a reliable person, he will not reveal your secrets, and will be faithful in any situation, therefore, not everyone can become one.
Now I want to talk about the main contender for the role best friend. Firstly, she was with us from birth, she raised us, taught us the norms and rules of life. Secondly, she saw us when we cried, she saw us in joy and in sadness. Thirdly, she is most interested in whether we are fed, dressed, and whether we are happy. This woman will never leave us alone in the most difficult moments. This is mom. I believe that if a person thinks, first of all, about your good, then he can be your best friend. Mothers do this all the time, without exception. It’s not shy to talk to her for hours, it’s interesting to walk with her, and she won’t offend a child friend in any case, because this is a part of her, her blood.
Mom is the best friend, regardless of age and hobbies, because she sincerely loves us and will love us.
Mom is my best friend (essay No. 2).
Many children laugh when a child says that his best friend is his mother. In fact, they are far from right; perhaps their family has a bad relationship with their parents and they do not trust them. In fact, mom is the most faithful friend who will not leave you after a while.
Friends change with every stage of life, and your mother is ready to support you at any moment. Another proof that mom is your best friend is that she will not tell your secrets to anyone, but will carefully keep them to herself. When you stumble or make a mistake, friends rarely extend a “helping hand,” and your mother will never miss the chance to give it to you and get you back on your feet.
It is very easy to communicate with mom, since she is wise and always gives useful tips. Mom will never envy your success and happiness, but on the contrary, she will rejoice with you and pray for your happiness. Despite all this, it is rare that a child will understand these words. Realization comes only over the years, when wrinkles appear on your best friend’s face and a little fatigue in his eyes. Therefore, you should not offend your best friend, even when he is sometimes stubborn, because after that he may not be around anymore. You shouldn’t repent later, it’s better to appreciate it now, at this moment.
Looking back, you can see that all the best and brightest moments of life took place next to my mother. With her you don’t need to wear different masks because she knows your soul beautifully. Yes, you sometimes swear and very strongly, but in her huge, vulnerable heart there will always be room to forgive your offenses, no matter what, she will accept you for who you are and will not condemn you for the actions you have committed.
Now try to look into the depths of your soul and analyze all the words spoken above; for sure, many people’s souls will tremble, and they will want to change everything. Take action.
2nd grade, 4th grade.
Several interesting essays
- The history of the creation of the novel Quiet Don by Sholokhov
The literary figure Sholokhov is one of the most prominent representatives of writers who, in their works, using beautiful literary language, talked about terrible, not at all pleasant, things.
- The idea, essence and meaning of the novel Hero of Our Time by Lermontov
The novel “A Hero of Our Time” was written by Lermontov in the mid-nineteenth century, however, the action was moved precisely to the beginning of the century. Years later, the reader sees similar reflections in famous books by such writers
- The main characters of Chekhov's Tosca
Anton Pavlovich Chekhov in his story “Tosca” raises complex issues of morality and compassion, which is expressed in the characteristics of the heroes. The work of Anton Pavlovich Chekhov contains a number of heroes
- Essay based on Ivanov’s painting The feat of a young Kiev resident, grade 5 (description)
The painting was painted by the artist Andrei Ivanov based on the ancient chronicle of Nestor about the events that took place in 968. The chronicle tells about a young Kiev resident who, during the Pecheneg attack on Kyiv, rushed through the enemy army to the Dnieper River
The story begins with a description of the stationmaster of those years: A real martyr of the fourteenth grade. There is no peace either day or night. After all, the fatigue and dissatisfaction accumulated during a boring trip
It is no secret that for a child, the mother is the closest and dear person. Regardless of her character, her inherent shortcomings, the baby will love her mother. However, not all mothers are the same. Just as they differ in appearance, their views on the educational process also differ. But, despite this, all mothers, according to the models of raising their baby, can be divided into six types, with all the pros and cons.
Mom is homemade
For such a mother, life without a child makes no sense. The main desire of a home mother is to give birth to a couple of children and devote herself entirely to them, precious ones. However, she does not show excessive guardianship towards the kids. Such a mother is always next to the baby, and the baby always has fresh soup and his pants are ironed. It should be noted that next to the children and the rest of the family there is a lack of coziness and comfort created by the home mother.
Pros: the children of such mothers never consider themselves lonely, they are positive and trusting.
Disadvantages: a woman who is a housewife these days is considered a failure, as a result, the child may eventually begin to feel ashamed of the housewife. In addition, such a mother may be a little limited due to the same limitations of her interests.
Mothers of this type want to take care of their child throughout his life. Often, this pattern of behavior is explained by dislike in childhood; as a result, mother hens want to give their children everything that they themselves lacked. However, a lot of good is also bad. Therefore, mother’s overprotection raises individuals who are completely unadapted to life and have a lot of complexes.
Pros: a mother hen is ideal for a baby; a grown-up baby hen will never doubt that he is loved. However, over the years, if the child does not manage to tear himself away from his mother’s skirt, this love will begin to weigh heavily.
Cons: children of mother hens are deprived of the chance to become independent adults. Mothers, with good intentions, protect their children from communicating with peers; as a result, their children do not know how to contact and communicate with people, solve their problems, or even take care of themselves on their own.
Controller mom
This is a mother-dictator or warden, because, despite good intentions, she turns the baby’s home into a prison. The child of a controlling mother has no rights to privacy, and his word means nothing. The controller mother loves to collect information about the child and from time to time cross-examine the baby’s friends, and sometimes their parents. Of course, the peers of the mother-overseer’s child try to stay away from the unpleasant aunt, and, accordingly, from her child.
Pros: the child of a dictatorial mother knows how to lie from an early age so that a mosquito won’t erode his nose.
Cons: Often, children of controlling parents become weak people, mostly choosing the path of least resistance or simply leading a double life.
A critical mother will never sincerely praise a child for anything; she either does not know any other behavior or wants to assert herself at the expense of the child. From early childhood, the baby learns where his hands come from, who has such a terrible character, why grades at school are no good. As a result, the child becomes a perfectionist or is pathologically afraid of criticism.
Pros: Children of critical parents most often achieve outstanding success, despite or despite their negative forecasts.
Cons: an underpraised and unloved child risks growing up to be a merciless, angry and distrustful person.
Mama cuckoo
Such a mother has an episodic interest in the life of her child. The mother cuckoo either does not like her child, or is too passionate about her own interests. The child is raised by someone else: a grandmother or a nanny, TV or the street. Cuckoo babies lack warmth and affection, but they always have enough expensive gifts from their mother on holidays. Mother cuckoo is often not bad, she’s just not set up in life for motherhood.
Pros: a baby deprived of affection and attention is often quite independent and grows up very easily.
Cons: the children of such mothers feel useless and lonely. The child thinks that the reason maternal dislike hidden within himself, therefore he strives for self-destruction and automatically falls into the risk group for drug addiction and suicide.
A mother-friend perceives even a baby as a person, she patiently explains why something is possible and something is not, and she completely sincerely admires the child’s achievements. But at the same time there is no permissiveness in relation to the baby. Children of a friend's mother value other people and build relationships on the principles of respect and trust.
Pros: the child knows his own worth, but does not turn his nose up, and therefore grows up to be a constructive person who does not give up after making a mistake and is tolerant of other people’s successes.
Cons: the real world of such children is sometimes shocking. It is difficult for them to come to terms with life's deceptions and betrayals, cruelty and injustice.
Psychologists assure: ideal mothers does not exist. There are no social institutions where they teach how to be a mother, so that you can choose a certain style of behavior. The only thing a woman can do is copy her mother’s behavior model.
“The motherhood gene has an intergenerational family character,” explains psychologist Milana Burchakova. - But the specific situation also plays a role. Sometimes the same scenario is repeated from generation to generation. Generations are different, situations are different, but the essence is the same. However, some women choose a counter-scenario for their relationship with their mother. But both options are wrong, and each specific situation is special. A woman cannot be blamed for raising a child one way or another. Even the worst mother, according to the public, tries to be the best for her child.”
The parenting style of a child is usually influenced by the dominant character traits of the mother. Of course, it is impossible to divide all the mothers of the world into several types, but we will try to highlight the main models of behavior and consider their characteristics.
Photo GettyImages
Mother hen
Mother hens tend to surround their child with excessive care, like hens hatching their eggs, sometimes not even caring about their own food. The lives of their children are scheduled according to a strict schedule: swimming pool for babies, English from one year old. Mother hens often do not realize that the child has grown up, even if it has already turned 35 and does not know where to go from care. According to psychologists, mothers’ childhood memories are to blame: most likely, they themselves received less parental love and attention in childhood. However, most of the problems and behavioral patterns of parents come from childhood.
Mom is perfect
She strives for ideal in everything. A child, as a source of pride that needs to be shown to everyone, should look exceptionally perfect: no hysterics in public and no diathesis. The baby is the first of his peers to begin to smile, crawl, talk, walk, read and draw, quotes Kant in the original and eats exclusively with a knife and fork. Perhaps one of the most annoying types, because they cannot help but brag about the successes of their child.
Photo GettyImages
Ecomomama
From the outside, the eco-mom is a well-groomed young girl with a minimum of makeup. Its obligatory attribute is a sling from which the baby’s head sticks out. This mother votes with both hands breast-feeding, preferably up to three years, cotton reusable diapers, organic cosmetics– ideally oils, seasonal products, homeopathy and yoga. An eco-mom advocates conscious motherhood and worries about what kind of world her child will live in. She also dreams of spending the winter in Bali, because there are no GMOs there and she doesn’t need warm clothes.
Dictator mom
A dictator mother maintains complete control over all the actions of her child. Voting right? Laughter, and that's all. Attempts at self-expression? Prohibited. For such a mother, everything is laid out on the shelves and is carried out strictly according to the regulations. The commander in the apron is sure: she has the right to control every step not only of her offspring, but also of his own children. A child is an object of education, subject to a strict “must”, regardless of wishes.
Photo GettyImages
Mom Servant
The characteristic behavior of the mother-servant is endless attempts to predict all the whims of her beloved child, indulging the slightest whim. All the wishes of the baby are law. Plans change depending on the baby’s mood. The only mission of the servant mother is to satisfy the needs of the cub. With excessive efforts, an overly active lady tires not only herself, but also the object of care, who would be happy to hide from overprotection, but is not yet able to due to age or circumstances.
Fashion mom
On the playground, a fashionista mom can easily be recognized by her penchant for trendy pumps, perfect makeup and intricate hairstyles. The child is dressed to match - shorts to match his mother's bag, even now on the cover of children's Vogue. Yes, and the stroller was purchased at a brand store. True, you can’t tinker around enough in the sandbox in such attire. And it’s better to forget about puddles too.
Hearth Keeper
The child of such a mother will not have to snack on store-bought yogurt with a bunch of dyes and preservatives. Moreover, the child will not go hungry during a walk - the parent will take care of a tasty and healthy snack in advance. The “keeper of the hearth” has many recipes for purees and soups, suitable for the most picky children. All the energy of this woman goes into supporting the life of her family.
Photo GettyImages
Mother-baby
No one perceives the mother-child as an adult and independent person, including herself. And even more so, she is completely unable to take care of the child and bear responsibility for him. Age has nothing to do with it. The parent can be either 18 or 45 years old. Mother-child does not trust her intuition at all, she is childish, immature and prone to anxiety. She's even a child once again He’s afraid to pick him up: “He’s fragile, what if I drop him?”
Mom surprise
This parent has a changeable, eccentric, inconsistent and unpredictable mood. “She can press you to your heart, or she can tell you to go to hell” - this is about her. Surprise Mom is completely unable to control her emotions. She does not adapt to the amplitude of the child’s emotions, but adapts the little one to herself. She changes the education system or pediatrician easily and on a grand scale, unexpectedly succumbing to a new trend.
Photo GettyImages
Smart mom
Smart Mom has a PhD in absolutely any subject and is always ready to give expert advice on the playground. Her child tried out all the new products in the toy industry, experienced advanced development methods and even nutritional principles. The parent is sure: the world absolutely needs a school on motherhood, where she will be the leading specialist. She wants to raise a person of the future, capable of making maximum use of the reserves of his body and the surrounding world.
Mama cuckoo
For a businesswoman mother, it’s like a quest to carve out at least an hour for a walk with her child. Ideally, have a phone or tablet at hand - taking time away from work for even an hour is unacceptable. At other times, the care of the child is transferred to the grandmother or nanny. And a teenager can even be transferred to the so-called self-education mode, although not forgetting to track the main points through the delegation of authority to the same grandmother or father of the child. The eldest daughter is preparing to become a mother herself, and her son desperately needs to get out of the army, and you don’t even know? Happens. The only thing worth remembering: in pursuit of a career, the main thing is not to suddenly discover that your child considers you a stranger.
Photo GettyImages
Mom-friend
This mother considers it necessary to teach her baby to be independent from the cradle. The child develops social skills early and learns to use the most valuable right – the right to choose. However, the parent is always there to show and guide. You can come to an agreement with her, but you will also have to learn this first. At the same time, your communication skills will improve.
Mom blogger
Today, any mother can talk about her unique experience of potty training her child and recipes for making delicious broccoli casserole. All you need is nothing: have a computer, pay for the Internet, a love of chatting, and a child who sleeps at least an hour a day. If you wish, you can also create a business: sewing Stuffed Toys or knit caps and sell them to subscribers. Motherhood is a great starting point.
Any relationship between a man and a woman can be classified into one of three types.
From a woman's perspective: she treats a man either as brother, or how to son, or how to to the man I love. Not everything is obvious here, so let's look at each type in more detail.
Each type of relationship can manifest itself not only directly in sister and brother, mother and son (blood relatives), husband and wife - if everything were so simple, it would not be so interesting. In fact, these types are more common and widespread.
They say there's no such thing as male-female friendship. I resisted this idea for a long time until I finally realized that it was so. For some time after, I believed that a man and a woman can only be lovers. But then the realization came that there is a more subtle division.
Three types
Type 1 – Mother-son relationship.
This is not only and not so much the relationship between relatives; we are talking not about them, but about prototype. It is named after the way a woman interacts with a man: she perceives him more as a little boy, striving to take care of him, protect him, and surround him with warmth and affection.
In these relationships, of course, the “mother” dominates, that is, the woman, and the man automatically finds himself in a subordinate position, which in essence (by nature) is not characteristic of him.
Type 2 – Relationship between beloved man and beloved woman
This is not necessarily a relationship between a husband and wife or two lovers. This is the description relationship prototype. The essence of this relationship is that here the woman treats the man as a sexual partner first and foremost. A man is interested in a woman as a sexual object; it is masculine qualities that are attractive: masculinity, stamina, endurance, strong character, a certain brutality, etc. Here, love manifests itself not as a desire to take care of a person (as in a mother-son relationship), but as a desire for a partner to belong to him, to surrender, to be with him, to give him love and passion.
Type 3 – Brother-sister relationship.
This is not only a relationship between blood relatives, but again relationship prototype, which can extend to relationships between friends of the opposite sex and beyond. Brother and sister are essentially close people who have known each other for a very long time, almost from birth, they lived in the same house, grew up side by side for some time, they have known each other for “a hundred years.” Normally this is a good relationship friendship and trust.
A woman here treats a man as a friend, a good friend, whom she can trust, in whom she has no sexual interest, but on whom she can completely rely. “Brother” will support you in a difficult situation and protect you if anything happens, but he is a separate person and they have more of a partnership relationship.
The most important thing about these types is that each of the three can be represented in any proportion in a man-woman relationship. We are talking about the essence of the relationship; the general type is important here.
Husband wife
Let's look at an example of a husband-wife relationship. They can be based on any of the 3 types above. The basis may be the mother-son relationship; it is precisely this relationship that is most often written about in women’s magazines and asked of women don't do this, that is, not to be mothers to their own husbands. It is these relationships, psychologists say, that bring the most problems in family life, because women begin to manage, command, and the man finds himself in a deliberately weak position. But everyone chooses for themselves.
A husband and wife can base their union on a brother-sister relationship. Then it is more like a partnership, where a man supports a woman, they develop in parallel, but at the same time, each has a slightly different life, separate from the other.
Also in a family, the relationship between a beloved man and a beloved woman may be the basis. This is the healthiest union for marriage. Here, a man and a woman treat each other primarily as another of the opposite sex. Here it is the masculine qualities in a man that are valuable; a woman does not strive to take a masculine role or dominate in a relationship. And, of course, all this is based on love, not maternal or sisterly, but the most real deep love for your man.
Male - female friendship
Likewise, all three types can exist to varying degrees in the relationships of friends (male and female). This is where male-female friendship gets its true definition. If the mother-son model dominates the relationship, then the situation is clear: the woman takes care of her friend, he uses her as he used his mother in his time: he may come to complain about something, ask for food, and so on. If the basis of cross-gender friendship is the brother-sister relationship, then this is a friendship-partnership, without sexual overtones, where two people communicate as equals, they do not owe each other anything, because no one is more important, no one is better, but their support is valuable to each other .
If the relationship between male and female friends develops according to a type where the basis is rather sexual attraction and attraction to purely masculine qualities (in a woman) and purely feminine qualities in a man, then if there is or develops mutual love, these two can become each other friend, beloved man and beloved woman. If sexual attraction is not realized, then other models (mother-son or brother-sister) will be realized.
What else is important to say so that the topic of the three types of relationships is more or less complete. These types, of course. as you understand, they are also implemented in the other direction, describing how a man treats a woman: so, there is a type of relationship: father-daughter, brother-sister, beloved man-beloved woman.
It is also true that in a relationship between two people, a man can relate to a woman with a predominance, say, of the beloved man-beloved woman type, and a woman to a man of the sister-brother type. And also there can be (and more often, it seems, the case is) not one, but two, or even all three in different proportions.
Practical use
You may ask yourself: How do I feel about this person of the opposite sex? And see what is more in your feelings:
Care, tenderness, guardianship (indicates the mother-son type for a woman and the father-daughter type for a man);
Partnership, friendship, parallel development (indicates the brother-sister type);
Sexual interest, reverence and acceptance of the qualities of the opposite sex (indicates the type of relationship between the beloved man and the beloved woman).
It is also important to note when talking about love. Love is in all these types, or maybe there is. In the mother-son or father-daughter type, love is presented as love-tenderness, love-care, love-care. In the type of brother-sister relationship, love is presented as love-pride for a loved one, love-respect, love-admiration. In the third type, love is love-passion, love-attachment, love-belonging.
Psychological components
Understanding what type of relationship your relationship is will help you understand your feelings: deepen some and take them to a new level, and let some go and make room for something new.
Couple relationship
In a couple's relationship, when people are just dating or about to get married, it is especially important to understand whether your relationship is based on the beloved man-loved woman type. It is this type of relationship that should form the basis of a successful union. A mother-son/father-daughter relationship will not be able to compensate you for love, passion and other things that you receive only in the type of relationship between a beloved man and a beloved woman. Brother-sister relationships, although interesting and productive in themselves, will not give you marital happiness.
Among other things, make sure what feelings your partner has for you. If you have determined your attitude towards him, and it suits you, if your partner has a different attitude (belonging to a different type), then it will be more difficult for you to understand each other, you will have different expectations from communication and different feelings towards each other. Therefore, understand that you speak the same language, and if this is not the case, can you maintain the relationship in a way that does not infringe on your feelings or the feelings of your partner.
All kinds of feelings are needed, all kinds of feelings are important
Having described the three types of relationships between a man and a woman, it must be said that no type is better or worse than another. They are simply different and have different functions, different “loads”. Somewhere care is needed - this is a mother-son/father-daughter relationship, somewhere partnership in its purest form is important - this is a brother-sister relationship, nothing can replace love for a person of the opposite sex. These three types are not interchangeable, they are different. Each type should be represented in a person’s life, but to what extent is up to you to decide. Now who likes what more?
I suggest approaching relationships consciously. This way you can get more from the union and give more to your friend, partner, loved one.
The article did not consider the relationships of colleagues at all. I didn’t take them into consideration because they no longer have a gender; a colleague is like a comrade in Soviet times, just a person, a worker. If there is another subtext or friendship in the work, then see the three types above, in other cases it is a business relationship, without the burden of care, support or passionate love.
Healthy and conscientious relationships to you!
The next study has arrived, which will streamline your life and put it into logical order. This time scientists encroached on.
Have you ever thought about how you choose your friends? If not, don't worry any further: Professor Janice McCabe of Midwestern University has already done it for you.
After analyzing the personal data of 67 students, Janice came to the conclusion that an individual's friendships are of three types.
Now we will tell you about each. We decided to call the individual Styopa in all three types of friendship - for ease of understanding. (If your name is Styopa, it will be quite simple for you.)
1st type. Codependent
It is this type of friendship that we have observed for 10 seasons in . Friendship of the codependent type implies one company in which everyone is connected to each other in one way or another - some to a lesser extent, but connected.
On the one hand, according to Professor McCabe, this is good: the individual Styopa, under stressful circumstances, has many shoulders to lean on. On the other hand, such closed communities do not like to accept new members into their fold. If Styopa develops warm feelings for a girl from the outside world, but the group members don’t like her, the relationship is unlikely to have a future.
2nd type. Separating
Styopa has several groups of friends, and these groups do not overlap in any way. This is convenient: Styopa can appear in each group in different images.
For example, with his comrades at the conservatory, Styopa is a cellist, but with the guys from the courtyard, he is a simple guy from apartment 5, who always walks around with a large mysterious case. Minus: if Styopa gets it into his head to introduce these disparate groups, the participants of one may present him to the participants of the other in an unfavorable light (especially if both of them have people who are not indifferent to him).
3rd type. Individual
Large groups of friends and noisy get-togethers at the bar attract Styopa much less than thoughtful face-to-face communication. As a result, Styopa has several friends from different areas of life, he sees each of them separately, and they may not know each other.